How I met God by Alice Soule

On the night of March 5, 1995, I went to bed very depressed. While most people might not think that was so bad since many people go to bed depressed every night, but for me I knew it was serious because I was already on prozac.

I had been on Prozac since 1993. Because in January of 1993 I went into a severe depression. It was so severe that for six months I couldn’t work at my job or function much at home. The doctor (psychiatrist) wanted to put me into a hospital (I said okay) but my husband said no. ( I said okay) I loved my husband and children but I began to want to put a gun to my mouth and pull the trigger.

My oldest son, (being mentally retarded ) and a fear that there might really be a hell prevented me from that final solution to my depression. Work was terrible, my marriage was lacking but the most hard hitting blow was what a co-worker had said to me. He thought that when you die you just go to sleep. He was a college graduate and he believed that rich men wrote the Bible to keep the poor in place. He was serious about his belief. I told him that he was wrong but his statement hit me like a baseball in my stomach. If he was right the Bible was the ultimate rape of mankind.. His statement left me with no hope..

I was still under doctor’s care on that night when I met God. I was in bed, with my husband sleeping at my side, when I couldn’t stop sobbing. . I crawled out of bed , got on my knee’s and sobbed, sobbed and sobbed-then I stuck my hand out to reach for a robe. Literally stuck out my hand in the dark ,sobbing and said "Jesus I want to touch that robe and be healed. I heard about you all my life from people and the Bible and if You are really there--I want to touch Your robe (I couldn’t see how God could hear a cry from a woman in China and from me at the same time. I could not fathom a God who could do that)

Then it happened --I saw Jesus walking in a white robe-He stopped(as if He heard me call Him) turned around but I didn’t see His face. I felt the presence of a crowd but saw only Jesus walking.. For that span of time it was only Him and me. I climbed into my bed (thinking now I’ve done it, I really done it) I laid in bed next to my sleeping husband when I filled up with the Holy Spirit and my first words , my first conversation with the Creator of the universe was---"Wow God, I didn’t know.." ( I didn’t know He really, really , really existed.) As I was filling up with the Glory of God- I never felt so wonderful in my whole entire life. I do not have the vocabulary to describe how great the Glory of the Lord feels. All the wonderful things that did happen in my life-the birth of my three children, the first time I saw my husband, my grandmother’s delicious food, the best wine I ever drank, the great sights I’ve seen.(Crown jewels, sunset in Bermuda) are not 1/10,000 of the great feeling that I had from being with the Lord..

The feeling of being cool, and warm at the same time, never have I felt anything so wonderful, that felt so good as the Holy Spirit. I feel so limited in my description of how comforting, beautiful, peaceful, warming, cooling, safe I felt as I was filling up with the Holy Spirit. I filled up to a smile. In fact when I talk while I smiling today I feel the Holy Spirit. Something happens to my mouth on one side and my lips. My lips used to quiver.

On and off all that night I would wake up in ecstasy. I wanted the Lord to take me with Him that night--I would have left Brian (He is my oldest son who is mentally retarded). I would have left everybody and everything to go with Jesus to heaven that night. I had intense joy, I still have that joy. It comes over me from within. I love the Lord with a passion. I sometimes feel like a teenager, but my body doesn’t feel like it. I was 51 years old when I met Jesus. He is a Living God Whom I love more and more with each passing day. I sometimes feel like a kid and sometimes like a teenager. He made me brand new when I was filling up with the Holy Spirit-- I knew my sins were gone- my history of sin was forgotten by God. ( As far as the East is from the West.) I now had the power of the Lord to turn away from sin. I am not perfect but I am Born Again. My future is assured. I belong to Jesus Christ. He walked into my heart that night when I called upon His name-Jesus.

The next morning I threw away my cigarettes and two days later the Holy Spirit lead me into a 10-day fast. I never had one withdrawal symptom-I kept forgetting that I ever smoked. ( Not one drop of perspiration, not one uneasy moment) The Lord completely delivered me from smoking. He delivered me from a lot of things but most of all from depression and sin.

The walk of a Christian is not without tribulation but it is never lonely because my God walks with me everywhere. Whosoever calls upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved. Call upon Him today to Save you....